Grief

Missing You

 My boys. September 18, 2014.

My boys. September 18, 2014.

Most days, most times, I do okay now. In fact, I can honestly say, I'm doing well. I have joy, and hope, and purpose in my life.

But right now, today, on the three-year milestone after we lost you, I'm putting aside the things that I use to keep me busy and sitting in the sadness, Levi.

One year closer to seeing you again. May I use the time I have until then to love well.

Healing, One Bite at a Time

Healing, One Bite at a Time

There is an old joke that goes, "How do you eat an elephant?"

"I don't know, how do you?"

"One bite at a time."

The not-so-hidden truth in here can be applied to so many things—projects, goals, ginormous meals. But today, I'm going to talk about how I have found this true when tackling emotional hardship.*

*No elephants were harmed in the making of this blog post.

Puppies and Heroes

Puppies and Heroes

For some people, the Christmas season is their most difficult grieving season of the year.

Not me. With the passing of Noah's birthday on February 26, I have been descending pell-mell down the slope of anniversaries that bring up bittersweet memories of Levi.

Apparently, getting puppies is how I deal.

The Healing Power of Community

The Healing Power of Community

Two years later, we are still completely humbled when we consider the massive wave of support we received when Levi died. I am convinced that the support of our community through that first difficult year had a good deal to do with the progress we made in our healing. Yes, the work of grief must be done on an individual basis. But knowing that we were never alone had a significant impact on how brave we were in approaching that work.

Getting Unstuck

Getting Unstuck

A day at a time, the log jam is loosening and the ideas are flowing. The sun is coming back, energy is returning, and I am pulling myself blinking from the retreat of hibernation. For my own mental and emotional health, this year needs to be less about driving myself and more about reducing commitments, taking care of myself, and finding my passion again. It needs to be about healing.

Photo Friday: Grateful for the Harvest

Photo Friday: Grateful for the Harvest

Some years, the garden just sucks. But this year, my flourishing herbs and giant carrots and surprise petunias all worked together to heal my hurting heart. And I am so grateful for it.

After the Storm (Photo Friday: Become a Gift)

After the Storm (Photo Friday: Become a Gift)

I know that sunflowers think their job is to propagate their species by creating seeds. But today? It was to teach me that even when we've been hammered by life, and everything seems wretched, and we are broken all over the ground, we can still be beautiful.

Photo Friday: Hope from Chaos

Photo Friday: Hope from Chaos

"Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit." Henry Adams. Boy, do I hope that's true, because chaos abounds right now!