song

Mae Renfroe: Surrendered to God

Mae Renfroe: Surrendered to God

Mae Renfroe lost her second-eldest son, Clayton, in a quadding accident in April of 2017 at the age of fourteen. Mae and I both hope you will be encouraged by her story.

Embrace It

Embrace It

No matter your age, it’s not too late to chase your dream. Maybe you’re already doing it, which is awesome. Or maybe we are closing out another year where you have still been making excuses about why you didn’t go for the longing of your heart.

Life is long, but it’s also short. Do you really want to spend a minute of it not living up to your potential?

Resting

Resting

There will always be things that I’m dealing with. There will always be that sense of ebb and flow through seasons, times where my life seems more peaceful than others. But my happiness doesn’t depend on those circumstances.

The Uncomfortable Truth

The Uncomfortable Truth

Are we in control of our destiny? Or is God? And who is to blame when things go wrong?

Inconveniences I Would Rather Have

Inconveniences I Would Rather Have

On Wednesday, I found I was grieving all the things that Levi will not get to do that I wanted him to be able to do. I find that writing songs helps me deal with very stressful and emotional topics, so I wrote "Things I'll Never Do". Here is a quick scratch recording on a video for this song.

All That's Left is to Love

All That's Left is to Love

Wow, yesterday's post about how Christians treat the LGBTQ community has sure generated a lot of great, constructive discussion (a little here and a LOT on Facebook), which is exactly what I hoped it would do. The comments have provided me with some more thought-food to chew on, and I hope it has done the same for many of the people engaged in the conversation.

Prosody: Aristotle’s Gift to Songwriters

Prosody: Aristotle’s Gift to Songwriters

For week 2 of the Pat Pattison songwriting course through Coursera, we have been learning about prosody, or the elements that create unity in a song. Specifically, we have been learning how line length and the number of lines both affect prosody and what effects they have on the song in general.

"This is True Love... you think this happens everyday?"*

"This is True Love... you think this happens everyday?"*

Our wedding day also happened to be our college graduation day. We didn't know that they would coincide when we booked the church! Needless to say, neither of us made it to the cap-and-gown ceremony. But I liked my other gown and Jason's suit better.

This is my song for little Noah, as he goes to sleep...*

"Sleep, no I never get enough,
Always thinking I'm tired!
Sleep, no I never get enough!
If I don't show up I might get fired."
-Riley Armstrong, "Sleep"


After a long Sunday where I could feel in every bone and muscle in my body, I finally slipped between the sheets, settling myself next to my husband. 1:28 a.m., said the LCD green oversized-for-nearsightedness numbers on my bedside alarm clock. Jason and I had both stayed up past our bedtime watching a movie--Jason usually turns in at around ten, but the credits didn't flicker across our television screen until ten after midnight. Of course, at that point, he was able to go to bed, but I, unfortunately, still had some chicken stock to drain, put into individual containers, label, and put in the fridge or freezer. Thus the late hour when my flannel-clad body sank into the enveloping sheets.

I had not been horizontal for longer than 60 seconds when I heard the tell-tale thump of little feet on linoleum (the floor covering in Jude and Noah's room), followed immediately by the creak of their bedroom door and footsteps clumping across the kitchen floor, along with fretting in Noah's little voice. Not tonight! my inner child whined. However, to try and prevent disturbing Jason as much as possible, I got up right away and intercepted the toddler before he even reached our bedroom door. As soon as I picked him up, he laid his little head on my shoulder, and I thought he must have just been startled awake by something outside or some such thing, and would easily go back to sleep after I laid him down.

Imagine my chagrin when I was once again just getting into a comfy position when I heard the whump, creak, clump clump clump clump... Rebelling against the thought of getting out of bed again already, I procrastinated until he was nearly to our door, then once again went to deposit him back into his own sleeping receptacle. On my way out through the door, I noted that the green numbers now said 1:32.

Not wanting to have to repeat this incident again, I decided to sit with him until he settled a bit. I perched on the edge of his blue plastic toddler bed which is shaped like a corvette, tucked somewhere between the front and back wheel-wells. I supported my head on my hands, trying to keep from nodding off completely. After Noah seemed to be settling down (although I knew he was not yet asleep), I decided it was safe to retreat. 1:44 said the green numbers.

Soft, cool percale welcomed me. I tried to resist the siren call of sleep as long as possible, not daring to believe that Noah would actually stay put this time. However, the allure was too strong, and soon I was drifting off.

Before I was completely, utterly unconscious, but after I was deeply enough asleep that I could not easily rouse myself back to full awakeness, I heard our bedroom door creak, then felt Noah climbing up on the bed beside me, then right over me onto Jason.

"Noah, go back to bed," I heard Jason mumble in a rather annoyed voice through a thick haze of sleep. Then, blissfully, he got up and put him back to bed. At that, without even cracking my eyes at the clock, I let myself plunge into the depths of dreamland.

Wouldn't it be nice if that had been the end? I mean, I knew I was going to have to get up somewhere in the neighbourhood of of 7 a.m. with the baby. I knew Jason would have to get up even earlier. We were already creating a sleep debt before we even got into bed last night, simply because we wanted to spend some quiet time together. Why is it that the nights you choose to do that are the nights your kids get you up eighty million times?!!

At 3:14, as I was getting back into bed yet again, I marvelled at the fact that Noah had been awake for roughly an hour and a half. In the middle of the night. What is with this kid?! my brain screamed out in rhetorical fashion as I once again found the path the sandman had left for me, with only a little bit of difficulty due to the fact that I was getting really, really PO'd at our son.

At 6:30 a.m., I heard the back door slam as Jason left for work. (Unfortunately, because it does not hang straight and does not seal well, there is no way to close it except by slamming. Sucks for me, since it is right next to our room, but not so bad for the kids, usually, since they are on the front side of the house. Keyword: usually.) What is the next thing I hear? The oh-too-familiar patter of naked Noah feed on kitchen laminate, flannel pajamas sliding down stairs, the creak of our bedroom door, and a warm, twitchy body climbing up beside me. Too desperate for a little more sleep to get up and put him back to bed, and knowing that all I would likely accomplish by doing that at this point would be to wake Jude up early, as well, I left him there. Eventually, he figured out that Jason's half of the bed was empty, and--blissfully--went to lay over on that side.

When Jabin woke up at 7:20, a small whimper escaped my lips. Heaving a sigh, I finally got up and put on the DVD Noah had been rattling next to my head for nearly an hour.

If that boy thinks he is going to get a three hour nap today so he can do it all again tonight, he's dreaming!

*This is the first line of a lullaby I wrote for Noah when he was less than two weeks old.